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| C.J., Kristen, Jason, and Nate pictured with our social worker, Trisha during our third home study visit |
Hey Friends & Family,
On Tuesday, May 1st, we completed our third home study visit. Just a few weeks ago, our family went to Savannah, Ga to meet with Trisha for
the first two meetings. For the final meeting however, Trisha drove from Savannah to our home in Evans, Ga. We expected Trisha to spend most of the day observing how our family interacts, but she actually only stayed for about an hour. Trisha needed to accomplish two tasks during the visit: inspect the home and expand upon the risks, challenges, and rewards of adoption.
The home inspection was simple and fast. Trisha walked through the home, paying particular attention to where our children's rooms are located and whether or not our fire alarms were in working order. They worked...
For the remainder of her short visit, Trisha reviewed the risks associated with adoption. The most significant risk she mentioned repeatedly was that we can be offered a seemingly healthy child, and upon our return with the child, he may have physical, emotional, or psychological health problems. Though it seemed Trisha discussed this same risk from every angle, it was obvious she was wanting to emphasize the lifelong commitment to adoption. In addition to that, she did share some helpful tips about adoption:
- Celebrate everyones differences. Among the many challenges associated with adoption, we will face three broad ones. The fact that we are an adopting family. The fact that we will have an interracial family (although we already are). The fact that we are adopting from a different country. Though we are excited about our adoption, our family will be tested occasionally. The various social interactions and experiences with people who may not understand our story will be challenging at times. It will be important to celebrate the fact that every member of our family is different. I particularly enjoyed Trisha's advice that when children ask questions about adoption, that we make it so exciting and special that they wish their own family was as unique and special as ours.
- Parental preference. Apparently, most adopted children will start their relationship in a family with a preference for one parent. Trisha mentioned that this is not unusual, but why it happens is not completely understood. It could be that the child can only emotionally attach himself to only one parent at a time, or that the parent may remind him of a person he knew in his orphanage or foster home. Time often balances this challenge. Trisha also recommended that the non-preferred parent get to do ALL the fun things early on in the relationship.
- Educate the family. Some of the more obvious ways to educate our family on adoption is by reading books or articles. The more unique ways include finding groups associated with Ghana, participating in Ghana celebrations and holidays, and attending church with a Ghanaian population. We also intend to keep our family connected to Ghana by travelling to Ghana in the years following our adoption.
You can continue to follow our journey here:
